Catching Wild Pigs

As I was growing up, there were sayings call ‘Old Wives Tales’ and today, many people are so educated that they have dismissed these sayings as words of folly.

However, I’m a firm believer in ‘Murphy’s Law’, because every time I turn around, I see him figuratively standing there watching me and saying, “I told you so.”

For those unfamiliar to what Murphy’s Law is all about, it’s an axiom or universally recognized truth stating, ‘anything that can possibly go wrong will go wrong’.

We can also forget about the fairy tales that old man Grimm told, because they were just nightmarish children stories to make kids mind their parents or guardians.

Who but a child could believe in Tom Thumb, Rumplestilskin, or Hansel and Gretel, that is unless you’re reading the gruesome comic book edition of the Brothers Grimm.

BOO-O-O! HA, HA, HA!
Who said that?

Hey, who blew out the campfire?

Run for your lives, he’s back.

I apologize for the interruption, the power went off and my computer failed and I got scared.

And of course, who could forget about the nursery rhymes that we all had to learn in order to remember other meaningful life lessons.

So who cares about the cow jumping over the moon or the dish running away with the spoon?

This rhyme, ‘Hey Diddle Diddle’, along with the many others were written and adopted for many cognitive lessons and sometimes as satire.

For example, this rhyme ‘Hey Diddle Diddle’ which is told unto children for amusement is also considered a lesson in astronomy for constellations visible only in the April sky.

Another use was to let the early Europeans know that it was time to plant the crops.

Yet another use was that of satire about Queen Elizabeth and the 1st Earl of Leicester, her lap dog.

This is just a sample of what one can find in rhymes and folklore, so I’ll let you investigate further about your favorite verses.

Today, however, traditional folklore is mostly used for literary purposes to hone one’s writing skills in college classes.

Nothing literarily is off limits when it comes to writing, because one can have so many hidden meanings in one’s writing unless it blatantly states what you mean.

There’s nothing holy anymore, because of our so-called 1st Amendment Constitutional Activist.

The only way that something holy can remain holy is when a group speaks up and demands respect, as we have all witnessed in these past few years.

If every American were to standup and tell these so-called activist where to get off the bus, then we wouldn’t be held hostage as to what we can reverence and what we can’t.

United we stand and divided we fall is the motto we need to rally around in our daily lives, and in so doing these thugs will leave, for they will have no haven in which to rest.

But Hey Diddle Diddle, we’re stuck in the middle, and that’s too bad for us.

Sorry about that, I got carried away with my scandalization, for I am after all a ‘scandal’ or was ‘scoundrel’ the word that I was thinking about?

So what does all of this have to do with catching pigs, you ask?

Well, there was a college exchange student who was relating in class how he had gotten shot while trying to keep a socialist group from taking over his country.

He noticed how the class had looked at him in unbelief, so he asked if anybody knew how to catch wild pigs.

Because we’re Americans, we all know that pork comes from our neighborhood store, thus we don’t have to worry about catching anything but a cold.

So the exchange student explained it this way;

You find the right place in the wild and you put some corn on the ground and wait for the wild pigs to come and eat it up.

This is done until the pigs are comfortable in coming everyday and eating the free corn, and then you put up a partial fence line down one side of the area.

After these pigs get used to that fence line, you put up another length of fence and wait for the pigs to come, eat, and become used to that fence line.

This is done until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate and the pigs are inside the area eating the corn, for they will enter through the gate for the free food.

As you shut the gate, the pigs will become alarmed run around and around inside the fenced area, but they will become used to the captivity and go back to eating the corn.

Thus the pigs have accepted their captivity, and they live under their new bondage.

We Americans, if we’re not careful, will become as these wild pigs; we will be content with living in captivity with all of our socialist perks.

What perks am I talking about, you ask?

I’m talking about supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, farm subsidies, welfare, free medicine, free drugs, cheap imported laborers, and so forth.

These things are the beginning of our loss of freedom, for under the socialist system we all are equal except for the dictator, the queen, or the king (whomever you choose).

McCarthy was figuratively crucified for bringing this to the public’s attention years ago, and his enemies entered in and destroyed him, thus paving the way for the pig pen.

There’s an adage that says, ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’, but if you believe that there is a free lunch, you’re are already a captive in the proverbial pig pen.

I know that the hog calling sounds of these uncaring pig-activist rings loudly in our ears stating that lunch is served, therefore, just follow me in the way and you’ll be free.

Therefore, be careful of whom you choose as your taskmaster, because some of our great legislators have already made our Constitution a partially aborted screaming pig fetus.

Oink, oink